We’re Optimized, Curated, and Lonely
Recommendation algorithms used to feel like a convenience: finding videos you might like, creators you might follow, products you might need. But now they’re the default setting for modern life, shaping social feeds, search results, shopping suggestions, and even the marketing messages that land in your inbox. Meta itself describes Feed ranking as a process that “personalize[s] each Feed…using…machine learning systems to rank content.”
The problem isn’t simply that algorithms exist, but rather that they are increasingly attached to business models that depend on keeping people scrolling. And more recently, on inserting advertising into spaces that used to be paid escapes.
Paid subscriptions, promotional “extras,” and the creeping return of ads
For more than a decade, consumers are used to pay a monthly fee to avoid commercials. That trade is eroding across entertainment and tech.
Amazon announced that “starting in early 2024, Prime Video shows and movies will include limited advertisements,” while offering an additional fee to opt out. In 2025, a federal judge dismissed a lawsuit from Prime Video subscribers challenging that shift, noting the change was permitted under the service’s terms.
Netflix has also pushed customers away from its cheapest ad-free option; reporting in early 2024 noted the company was “retiring” the Basic ad-free plan in some markets where its ad-supported tier is available.
And it’s not just video. In January 2026, OpenAI said it would begin testing ads in ChatGPT for some users on free and lower-cost tiers, a notable shift for a product many people use for school, work, and personal questions. The news quickly drew scrutiny from policymakers; Sen. Ed Markey raised concerns about “deceptive advertising” and the risks of sponsored content inside chatbot conversations.
This is the emerging pattern: more subscriptions, more tiers, and fewer truly ad-free spaces, even in products that people increasingly rely on for everyday life.
The “connection” aesthetic, and what the real one requires
Platforms know that people crave human presence. Social media increasingly rewards content that feels like intimacy: eye contact, direct-to-camera storytelling, parasocial familiarity. It’s the genre that holds attention.
But algorithmic closeness isn’t the same as actual connection and it comes with built-in bias. Ranking systems are designed to predict what you’ll watch, click, share, and linger on. Over time, that can narrow what you see and who you feel surrounded by online, reinforcing a sense that “your” people are the only people that exist, or that everyone else is impossible to talk to.
Research on polarization and echo chambers is complex, and not every study blames algorithms alone. One Science report in 2025, for example, described simulation findings suggesting polarization can emerge even without content-ranking algorithms. Still, most researchers argue recommendation systems can amplify group sorting and intensify divisions once they form.
The lived experience many people report is simpler than the academic debate: online spaces increasingly feel like matching engines. They’re optimizing for sameness, feeding the strongest reactions, and silently filtering out the ordinary people that makes communities resilient.
A public health warning, not just a vibes problem
In the U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on social connection, the document argues that “we have an opportunity, and an obligation” to invest in connection the way the country invested in other major health challenges. Another Surgeon General advisory on youth social media use warned that “we do not yet have enough evidence to determine if social media is sufficiently safe” for children and adolescents.
Meanwhile, reporting on loneliness has increasingly pointed to the everyday collapse of civic life: fewer shared spaces, fewer community rituals, fewer casual interactions with neighbors. An Associated Press report last month described how Americans are less engaged in traditional community institutions and how grassroots efforts are trying to rebuild connection from the ground up.
The simplest countermeasure
There’s no single fix for surveillance advertising, subscription creep, or algorithmic sorting. Regulators can help. Platform transparency can help. Better product design can help.
But there’s also a solution that doesn’t require permission from a tech company: put the phone down, walk outside and talk to someone.
If you grew up introverted, this can sound like daunting. Real-life interaction includes pauses, misunderstandings, and the vulnerability of being seen without filters. But it is also fundamentally unranked. No one is optimizing your conversation for engagement. No one is A/B testing your loneliness. And no algorithm can substitute for the slow, trust-building process of showing up again and again.
What we can do
This is exactly why we’re launching our Walk + Connect series: to make it easier to step out of the algorithmic noise and into low-pressure, face-to-face community time. Join us in walking together, meeting new people, and building solid human connections that aren’t mediated by feeds or recommendations.